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I was thinking about nostalgia the other day. Nostalgia kind of sucks. In general. But that's not what I was thinking. Trying to figure out why I might not be a "happy person," and I think a lot of it probably comes down to nostalgia. I know. That's ridiculously stupid. But it was the best thing I had, so I ran with it. Nostalgia. I think there are two types. The most common thing you run into, and the thing that sells the most "vintage" and "accurate reproduction" crap is the kind where you recall fond memories of things from your past. This isn't such a bad thing, really... although it definitely has a hand in making old bald guys buy fast sportscars... Having fond memories is a good thing... Being able to look back at your past and smile is wonderful. Looking back at your past and trying to relive it, however, is something else entirely. When people become unhappy, they will look for a time when they were happy and try to recreate it. This can, quite obviously, just completely halt someone's forward walk of life. When you get stuck in the present trying to recreate the past, you never make it to the future. But I digress... There are two types of nostalgia. The other, I think, is wanting to recall certain things from your past but being unable to because you never actually did them. This, in my opinion, is even more self-destructive. And it definitely hinders future growth. There were things that I had a chance to do when I was 18... a lot of things. And I didn't do a lot of those things. I may have memories of other people doing them or memories of stories, but it's not the same. The end result is feeling that I didn't live 18 the way 18 needed to be lived. And I finally figured it out at 21... So, at 21, I wanted to do the things I should have done when I was 18. Now, at 25, I'm wanting to do the things that I should have done at 22. It's like I've made it so that I have died three years before I actually die. That's all I've really got at the moment. Just trying to figure out what the past is actually supposed to mean. I guess that makes this a real-life "blog" since I've got no point. Dammit.