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I feel extremely sick to my stomach.

the coffee doesn't help.

I feel like I learned, in one of my crappy high school English classes, that a "tragic figure" is one whose own actions result in a tragedy for that person. Sabotaging yourself is sucky and stupid. Don't do it. Really really think about the things you do.

For some reason, I got into the mindset that really thinking about the results of your actions is kind of unnecessary and, perhaps, wrong even. God, what a dumbass. Thinking about what you're doing definitely makes things more difficult, but maybe that's life, eh? It should be.

Thank you.