We are so Bad at Disc Golf...

A little over a month ago Bryan and I thought we were good enough to play the gold layout at Renaissance. But we were not. Not at all. Bryan was set to turn 30 in about 2 weeks, so I'm going to let his excuse be that he was old. Mine will be that I felt sorry for him and wanted to let him win. Sound good? Good. Just look at the determination on my face here tho. I'm not sure I can pull of the "I wasn't trying" excuse, but I'm going to try. Despite the determination, I still ended up with a drive that looked like... well... like it was thrown by someone who can't throw a disc. But, still... look at that form. It's beautiful. Pay no attention to the thud of the disc hitting the tree. And yes, I know the picture shows a backhand and the video shows a forehand. So I cheated and threw two times. So what.
Then, of course, there's Bryan trying to drive. Why does he always look so damn goofy? And how the hell does he manage to throw better than me with a form like that? But, you know, regardless of how the drives went, I'm going to go ahead and say that I made this putt. Even though I'm pretty sure I did not. Because, of course, I wasn't actually trying to make it. If you look behind the goal to the left, I believe that is Bryan's approach shot. But, then again, there's a disc in front of the goal too, and Bryan has this nasty habit of throwing everything in his hands at the goal if he misses a shot he thinks he should make. There are always discs all over the place. It's amazing we don't lose more than we do. More discs, that is. We are both obviously losing at disc golf.
Even though we don't do mulligans... even though we've never really done mulligans... Bryan always seems to think that he's allowed to take one. And perhaps it's karma, but the mulligans rarely seem to actually be any better... kind of like this one did not. But once he actually got out from behind the fence, you can see the ferociousness with which he attacked the next shot. Well, actually... that is probably the next next shot...
Not that I'm completely trying to rag on Bryan. After all, he IS supposed to be the winner of this game. Even though the youtube fuziness makes it damn near impossible to actually see where this goes, this was a decent shot. Especially if you don't think about the fact that this was the 2nd shot on this hole and, technically, Bryan should have had to have taken it with his penis out.
I know it seems like it, but I really am not only trying to make fun of Bryan. I'll get mine too. But this is just so precious. There's a little sign at the end of the teepad that says something like, "If, by some freak of nature, you miss the mando, you must retee." This was so close to being a freak of nature... One day tho... we'll see it...
I think I recall saying something, after we'd finished the front nine, about how my score was equal to my course record and how Bryan's was 3 or so over the course record. After only being halfway through. And the 2nd half is much more difficult. It was a rough day...
I think this is Bryan trying to describe, visually, where his level of play is compared to mine...	Then he tries to put those words into actions and throws the disc directly into the jungle...	While I, forgetting my oath to lose, go ahead and knock down this amazing putt. (Although, in reality, I'm pretty sure I missed this as well) Because, of course, I was actually remembering to try to lose.
Now I know this throw looks beautiful. I know I look sexy as hell. And I know that you can't actually see where the disc went on youtube. The disc went left. Way left. Given the evidence of how gorgeous I looked while making the throw, however, it should be pretty obvious that this was on purpose.
And then there's #13. I hate this hole more than any other disc golf hole I've ever played. I don't understand why there is more photographic evidence of this hole than any other. Except, perhaps, b/c it takes so fucking long to play it b/c I'm so fucking terrible at it. I was even all down in my post-throw stance the way I usually do it when there's a good throw to be had... But you can just tell by the way I'm looking off into the distance... NOT happy. This went over the line of trees that is supposed to separate hole 13 from hole 11. They run parallel to one another. Sadly, this was not going to be the worst thing to happen to me on this hole...
Bryan is always better at holding things together on this hole. If I come close to losing on this course, it's b/c of this hole. That held true this day as well. Although I'm pretty sure this resulted in a 4-point swing, it's not like Bryan had it completely easy. Throwing out of trees is never fun, and you can imagine him snapping that shirt thing like he was a woman who just got told that the mall was closed.
Approximately 15 shots later, we can actually see the basket. Bryan, showing no signs of his age, makes a nice approach shot... Maybe his best form of the day. And his shot certainly ends up in a much much better place than mine... And these aren't nice oak trees that are fun to climb. No, these are pine trees. Very prickly pine trees. Very itchy pine trees. With branches close together... Not really the most fun I've ever had involving a tree and a frisbee.
Bryan tried to use his big bear hands to shake it down, but the tree was nobody's bitch... had to find another solution...
I'm not usually terrible at 14 either, but this didn't work out. Bryan's standing at the goal when taking this photo. Pretty sure that I, yet again, missed. Although, come to think of it, this one might have actually gone in for a bogey... Things kind of turned around for me on 15 tho... Bryan chucks his disc way way right, and I... well... you can see:
		Yeah... this is where my drive landed. The hole is right there. For birdie. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not I made it...
As this game finally began to end, I was down by 1 with three holes to go. We had some memory left in the camera, so I guess I can let these next two videos speak for themselves.
It is now tied...
And now I'm down by two... wow. I usually love this hole. I often par this hole. But not today. Because, if you recall, I'm trying to lose to make Bryan feel better.
So... last hole, and I'm down by two. My plan is working perfectly. But now count the number of shots we each take... and listen to Bryan's assessment of his score...
I really don't know what else I could have done to try to lose this game. But Bryan still had to try to cheat to get the win. Real classy. And so, of course, I had to set the record straight. Perhaps had he not TRIED to cheat, I would have cheated for him so that he could feel better about himself. But this kind of brazen disrespect for the game would not stand. Maybe next time... maybe.