Be All You Can Be

So... apparently... at some point in the recent past, I was on the website for the Army National Guard and requested information. I don't remember doing that at all, but I will trust that I did. They were probably offering free t-shirts or something. I just got a call from one of those nasal phone operator ladies who asked me a bunch of questions. Like how tall I am and where I went to school and stuff. She also asked what interested me in the National Guard. I told her I had no idea but that maybe they were giving something away so I signed up. Who knows. Her response to all of my responses was either "Wonderful" or "Fantastic."

The last question she asked was, "What do you like to do in your free time?"
I said, "I like to smoke pot. And then do other stuff. Perhaps that's why I can't remember contacting you."
- "Wonderful... Sgt. Murphy will be contacting you shortly to setup a more in depth meeting."

And that was that.
Which, now that I read it, really isn't all that funny. But I thought it was at the time. I think I will talk to Sgt. Murphy when (s)he calls until I can find an opportunity to say something awful and disgusting about the piece of shit in the White House. Then ask them to call me back if someone other than Guiliani wins the race this year.