Ministry

I've been slack. Because that's what I do. But a couple of weeks ago, one of my best friends from high school drove down so we could go to the Ministry show over at Tremont. It was forty freaking dollars to get in the door, and I was definitely not going to go except for that Will was coming. I talked to a guy at the last KMFDM show who said that the last Ministry show he saw featured only the new songs being played. I picked up the 2nd to last album, and it was cool... but there was a lot samples of george bush talking, and it was very overtly political. I hate george bush at least as much as the next guy, but even though I liked most of the sounds on the record, it did get a little heavy-handed. Al hates george. I got it. Regardless, I just didn't want to drop a lot of cash to see a band that I liked purposefully skipping over all of the songs that initially made them great. I didn't need to hear the "hits" necessarily, but ... I'm rambling. You get the point, I'm sure.
I'd never heard of either the opening band, Hemlock, or the "special guest" Meshuggah, but Brian Burton liked the drummer for that second band, so he actually went with us as well. We were too busy pre-drinking and missed the opening act which, frankly, was fine by me. We did, however, get there just in time for the Meshuggah set. Which, in my opinion, was pretty brutally awful. The sound in the building was terrible... sure it's industrial metal, and it's often going to sound pretty mushy, but this just was not good. I didn't like the lead "singer" at all either. He did a lot of posturing and putting his hands up like he was Jesus. Then yelled and mumbled some into the mic. I dunno, but I was glad when it was over and pretty stoked to finally see Ministry. Between sets, I was talking to people around me... met a few nice people and took photos b/c I was bored...
	I got both of these dudes to put their email addresses in my cellphone... I tried sending the photos over, but my emails got bounced back. Oh well... I tried.
So, anyway... Ministry was headed out soon. So, good. But the bouncer guys started putting up fences. wtf. Divas? It was definitely packed in there, and there was a little moshpit, but no one was going totally apeshit or throwing stuff on stage or anything. Very strange. And annoying. But, whatever. So they came out, and it was all dark, and everyone was screaming, and they tore into a newer song that I may or may not have heard before. In fact, throughout the entire first set, there was only one song I heard that I was absolutely positive I had heard before. I don't know the name of it, but I could pick out all of the soundbites of george bush saying something stupid, and Al was like, "This is for our goddamn stupid fucking President" or something. A lot of it sounded the same, because I, not being a die-hard post-Filthpig Ministry fan, didn't have my ear trained to listen for any particular riffs. I was mostly waiting to listen for the intro to "Just One Fix" so I could tape it, but it never came. So I watched with a feeling of removed bemusement and tried to snap a photo or two when I thought something would look sweet. After I took that one to the left, (the first photo I took since Ministry came on) some bouncer guy came up and told me that he wasn't trying to kick me out, but I wasn't allowed to take pictures. Despite the sea of cameras being held aloft all around me. I was all, "wtf, really? Just photos?" "Yep, camera phones only; nothing with a zoom on it." Does that statement sound contradictory to anyone else? So, whatever. I quit taking pictures for a while. Then I thought I had a good chance to take one of Al, (it's only even mediocre b/c I touched it up in Photoshop) so I gave it a shot. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I figured I definitely wouldn't get bitched at the only two times I took a picture.. Within 2 seconds, dude was tapping me on the shoulder and took me out for a stern talking-to. "If I see you with that camera again, I'm kicking you out." Fine. Whatever. So I got another drink and went out back to the side entrance to watch from outside. It was way too hot and loud and annoying in there anyway. And still yet, not a single song off anything older than 2 records ago. (maybe 3...) Which, I should clarify... is cool if you're touring on a new record or something. But if you're on your "farewell" tour, why wouldn't you try to mix it up a lot? *baffled*
Right. Enough complaining about that. So I went to watch the show from outside. Usually I'm not allowed to get up on the little staircase there, but I started talking to this guy named Craig, and he let me come up and watch from the band doorway. So I ended up hanging out with Craig, the guitar tech from Meshuggah (whose name I have sadly forgotten), Chelsea, and Chelsea's two friends. I couldn't quite understand who Craig was, but he seemed like a really nice guy and was happy to talk about stuff including and not including Ministry. He was down from Greensboro just hanging out, so he said. Chelsea, as best I could tell, was somewhat of a band-aid. She had 5 or 6 kids back in California, and I found out that one of the little girls is, supposedly, a really great ice skater. I don't think she was an industrial-dance ice skater tho. I kind of watched the show out of the corner of my eye, but mostly talked to Craig and watched the guitar tech guy hit on that girl. At some point, Craig was like, "hey, you want to meet someone interesting?" I really had no idea what to expect, but sure, I like interesting people. So he pulls this guy back from inside, and "hey man, this is Burton; Burton, this is jim." It took me a minute, but then I asked, "wait... Burton C. Bell?" And, sure enough, it was the lead singer from Fear Factory. Well, shit, that was pretty cool. So I tried to get from him what he was doing there; the closest I could get for a while was that he was going to be singing some old stuff with Ministry. Eventually I finally got him to tell me just what he'd be singing. And, sure as hell, "Just One Fix." Bad. Ass. I tried, for a little while to seem like I was sort of cool by mentioning that I'd bought the Remanufactured Fear Factory disc but that I'd bought it around the same time I got the first Gravity Kills record. I think that pretty much killed any chance I had of seeming cool. Oh well. Burton was nice enough to let me have a picture with him. Why do I do that tho?? I look like such a complete tool. Blah blah. So there was a short break in the set inside, and Burton took off. I took my post on the side of the door to try and get Just One Fix taped. I managed to get it although my position sucked, and I was drunk, so I kept shaking and zooming in and out WAY too much. But it was cool... they were finally doing some older stuff... Stuff that I recognized. They played Just One Fix, N.W.O., and Thieves... all with Burton on lead vocals. He was definitely awesome, but isn't that super strange too? Farewell tour. Finally playing old stuff. And the one guy whose band this really was stops singing. It was all such an incredibly strange experience.
When the show ended, I was standing just outside the door still watching things inside... Within seconds of the show being over a cadre of yellow-shirted strong guys started running through escorting Al into the waiting tour bus outside. They weren't overly rude, but they certainly weren't saying, "excuse me" or "please." So they rushed Al out to the bus, a few curious onlookers wandered over to stand around the bus, and I went inside to find Will. We were definitely too drunk to drive, so I was glad to be walking home... plus I walked out enough of the alcohol to drive us over to Jeff's Bucket Shop for the after party. Which was, perhaps, more fun than the concert itself. I'm definitely glad that I went, but I'm also definitely sure that I wouldn't ever pay $40 to do all that stuff again.